The King of Chav's and Inflatable Sheep

King Chav
Originally uploaded by SmithersJones.

I thought I would add this as I've not blogged for a while, the nurse has been heavily medicating me after my last outburst. Also I speant the weekend socialising with real people and the subject of my blog arose so I guess I better put something on here.

I thought it appropriate to share the heart rending story of a Chav in denial.

It has now become a tradition amongst a group of friends (how many times do you have to do something before it becomes traditional?) to celebrate the 40th birthday of each person by getting together and going camping. For me its fast becoming a tradition to take twice as long to get there than it should, for god sake its only a small island.

This year the unwilling victim was C who you see in the photo dressed in his sunday best after being presented with his certificate of chavness.

It should be pointed out that this gentleman is by day a respected member of academia and alledgedly holds a position in one of Britains most prominent universities. By night around a camp fire though his true nature comes out. Only by going away to secret camps buried deep in the countryside where he can be himself amongst fellow devotes of all things chav can he keep himself sane.

Its a shame that society shuns people like him forcing him to hide his dirty little secret from his co-workers, his wife and child and other innocent decent members of society.

So ring Chavline today and ensure C is issued with a can of cider and an ASBO now.

Israel & Anti Semitism

If any supporters of Israel happen to wander past and read this please take note. Personally I couldn't give a monkeys chuff if you are Jewish, Arab, African, French, pink, black, brown, yellow, polka dot, little green man from outer space or god forbid Scottish. I always endeavors to judge individuals by their actions. I can't help it its the way my mother bought me up and I'm not going to go against my mother for any one - you should see her, scary.

But at the moment I'm getting sick to death of every critisim of Israel being met with the same tired and pointless accusation of Anti-Semitism. Israel is a state, Judaism is a religion. I went to school, I can tell the difference.

The next person who accuses me of being anti Semitic will, I promise, get twated. In fact every time I hear the accusation a little part of me starts thinking, "well if your going to accuse me of it it I might as well be it."

He Works For Me.....I'm Doomed

There is a great web site based in the UK called TheyWorkForYou.com. Its based on the idea that the MP's who we elect should be responsible to us and so we should know what they get up to. Great idea, I have an alert set up so that if my local MP, Barry Sherman, says anything in Parliament i'm emailed what he says.

So given that the great issues of the day are that Lord Levy the Prime Ministers personal friend, his personal envoy to the Middle East and Labour Party fund raiser is arrested. This is in connection with allegations for cash for honours. Also two other Cabinet Ministers have also been questioned on the subject.

The Middle East goes from "bad" to "worse" to "oh my god! we are all going to die."

So I get an email today alerting me to the fact that Barry Sherman has spoken twice. Given the huge and weighty world events that are happening I assume that my MP has some calming and wise words.

First in answers to Treasury Questions we have:

Barry Sherman

What steps he is taking to improve the regulation of the London-based operations of non-EU European banks?

Edward Balls (Economic Secretary, HM Treasury)

The Financial Services Authority regulates all non-EU banks operating in the UK under the Financial Services and Markets Act 2000. That includes the regulation of prudential standards, conduct of business, liquidity and financial crime. The Government and the FSA work closely together to ensure that the regulation of the banking sector is effective, well focused and up to date with current market practice.

Barry Sherman

Will my hon. Friend stop dodging and diving on this one? I have been trying to get some protection for constituents of mine, who believed that when they allowed assets to be managed by a Swiss bank that had opened a London office, they had the same protection as customers of other banks, and that European directives would apply. Pictet Asset Management does not conform to those rules. Is it not about time that Swiss banks were regulated properly in this country?

Edward Balls (Economic Secretary, HM Treasury)

The Financial Services Authority regulates all banks operating in the UK in relation to financial crime and all other matters, including Swiss subsidiaries and branches, under existing legislation. I would say to my hon. Friend that I have been in this job for eight weeks, and this is the first time that we have had a conversation on this subject. I am happy to look into it in detail, but as I said, this is the first time that we have had the opportunity to discuss it. If he would like to meet, I will be happy to do so and provide him with all the reassurance he needs that the FSA is doing a good job, including with Swiss banks and subsidiaries.

Second, during the business of the House we get the following wisdom:

Barry Sheerman:

May I remind my right hon. Friend that today- 13 July-is
the birth date of John Clare, one of our greatest English poets? Many
regard Clare as one of the greatest English poets of the countryside
and the environment. Would not it be appropriate to hold an early
debate after the recess about the Education and Skills Committee report
on the value of out-of-school education? We expect...

Well thats put the world to rights then............

Syd Barrett RIP

Syd Barrett has died. I can't really add more than his obituary in the Guardian. He will go down in history as one of the main influences of psychedelic music and one of the first acid casualties.

To be honest though I prefered Pink Floyd after he left but every one seems to be of the view that his dna was very strong in everything they did. I have never understood, but always been fascinated by, people whose personality is just too large for themselves.

Huddersfield Carnival 2006

Huddersfield Carnival 2006
Originally uploaded by SmithersJones.

What better way to spend a staturday afternoon than hanging around in the park enjoying the atmosphere of the West Indian Carnival; food was great, curried goat with rice and peas.

However we learnt that the local council are looking at reducing funding for this annual event which makes me rather peeved. The thing that makes an average place a good place to live is the things that happen in the community. A house is just a house until you have a house warming.

How can the local politicians talk about the community etc but then when there is a successful community event walk away from it.

How to Party
Originally uploaded by Mike Carter.

Any way as usual there are some photos that can be found here. Again I have focused on those from Carriacou, Pettie Martinque and Grenada. This is only for the reasons that Grenadians make a sizable group within the local West Indian community and just becuase it started raining after they had been on.

My photos are ok, but not great, while on the other hand Mike Carter who was also there took some much better photos than me. I would like to point out that he has a better camera than me, but to be honest I also think he has bit more talent.

That said it could be a good chance to make an argument that I need to upgrade my camera. I have been secretly suffering camera envy for some time now. I think i could look at Mikes pictures and convince my self that some how if i go and spend a shed load of money i'll be able to photos as good as that.....hmmm. Now all i have to do is convince J.

A Year Ago Today

My grandmother died. Nothing to do with the London bombs. Which kind of makes it a weird day for me.

Conservative Blogger, New York Times and the Evil Terrorist Travel Guide

Some conservative blogger obviously read the memo about what a nest of evil terrorists the New York Times was and then promptly took his brain out and opened his mouth. The fact that a photographer took some photos for an article about St. Michaels, Maryland. This had to be a cover because what the photographer, in cahoots with the evil NYT, was actually doing was showing a picture of Donald Rumsfeld's drive. This total breach of security allows the evil doers of the world to find Mr Rumsfeld with out having to go to the bother of doing any research, given that the location of this house is public knowledge.

So what does the little wannabe stasi officer do? He publishes the personal details of the photographer. Now why would he do that?
Read the full story here

Bugger....

...now I'm no expert but that was a diabolical ref.

England expects and all that...

Today is the day that England play Portugal. Now England have to actually play football. So far all that can be said of the England is that they are winning, but not convincingly. Portugal knocked Egland out of Euro 2004 at i think the same stage this is not a team thats going to allow us to play like a bunch of sunday league players going through on luck.

In general the feeling on the ground is muted. The jingoistic fever is still there its just not as fervent as it was at the start. If however England step up and play today, something of which they are more than capable, then the mood in the country will quickly rise to the occasion. All English teams no matter what sport for some reason improve against good teams and play better when we are the under dog. To paraphrase a letter in the Guardian the other day; England paralyised by injury, the press slating the perfomances, Beckham sick, FIFA critising us...at last we now have a chance.

If however we lose the mood will turn dark, hmmm.

I came across a photo stream on Flickr the other day that i think captures the enormity and scope of the world cup. Rene Berlin he is just a normal Flickr member who happens to live in Berlin, and so has the worlds greatest event on his door to capture - its strange though that many many of his pictures seem to contain attractive young ladies. It should be remembered that the photos are of the streets not the stadiums, not of the games themselves but of the fans from around the world gathered in the streets in Berlin. He has captured the festival spirit very well. I just hope that is the way it stays. Any way to see a slide show of his photos go here.